Eye Opening

It’s day three after Ava’s bilateral lambdoid sagittal surgery. She’s very swollen today and we’ve been getting lessons on cleaning her sutures and bathing her.

I held her this morning and tried to give her some chicken soup (because it’s a cure-all don’t you know…), after which she promptly threw-up on me. Poor little bean.

Brian’s concerned that she seems to have some trust issues with us now, and I must admit, it’s crossed my mind as well. We had a nurse tell us, “Oh at this age? Yes, she’s definitely mad at you… but she’ll get over it.”

Great. Thanks for that.

She peers at me out of a very small space in her right and eye and pulls monk over her face so she doesn’t have to look at me… She doesn’t really want to be held and just seems generally unhappy.

I know this isn’t actually about us though. Ava’s just adjusting and healing and I’ll try not to psychoanalyze the drug-induced mood swings of a 16-month-old toddler (because God knows I could…). Even if Ava does have some sort of mis-trust right now, this too shall pass.

On another note – her eyes are pretty much swollen shut, but her mom’s had quite an eye-opening experience this morning.

We’re sharing a hospital room with four other patients (2 cranio kids, and 2 cleft-palate kids).

The baby next door is 10 weeks old and has Crouzon’s Syndrome; one of the numerous craniosynostosis syndromes. Her name is Emily and she’s already had 3 surgeries.

Emily’s dad (a tired chef with kind eyes), told us she has a twin sister at home who didn’t have any birth defects. They tried for three years with four in-vitro sessions before finding out they were pregnant with twin girls. It was the happiest day of his life.

As he was recanting his story I watched him watching Ava. I knew what he was thinking, because I’ve thought it too.

“This child’s illness isn’t as bad as my child’s illness. Why does my child have more serious medical problems? We wanted this child so badly and waited so long…”

Okay – maybe it wasn’t exactly that, but his kind eyes were certainly saying something like that.

I wanted to hug him.

We’ve listened to Emily struggle to breathe for two days now, and my heart has broken more from her than my own child. She has significant medical issues and many, many surgeries ahead of her.

Being in a Sick Kids Hospital for any length of time changes you. You watch 12-year-old boys playing pool from a wheelchair and bald 6-year-olds struggling with IV stands.

The interesting part? They’re happy. These kids are happy and they’re oblivious to the sympathetic stares and furrowed brows.

I’ve often wondered if gratitude is an emotion we learn or we intrinsically develop as children… As I get older, I believe it’s learned. I never used to be grateful, in fact I took many things for granted and wandered around with quite a remarkable sense of entitlement.

I think it’s the difficulties we face and the heroism we witness which creates gratitude. These daily happenings gnaw at us and remind us in our secret places that it’s true, we really are just spiritual beings have a human experience, and each of us, on our own sometimes sad, sometimes joyous journeys, have something to be grateful for.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

37 Responses to Eye Opening

  1. Candy Eager says:

    Hi Meliss – I’ve been following your journey daily and I’m so happy that little Ava made it through safely! You’re so right about the human condition. We’re especially lucky to come from a line of strong and happy-souled women who tend to find their joy in the small moments of each day. Ava will have that resilience too, so don’t think for a moment that she won’t be making you laugh again in a very short time.
    Hugs to all of you, Candy

  2. Angie says:

    What a beautiful brave little girl. (((hugs))) to you both. My daughter just had surgery for unilateral craniosynostosis on March 25. Reading your words is like reading my own thoughts. If you care to read Julia’s story,
    Thinking of you all

  3. Lindsay Lindsay says:

    Hi Melissa,

    I am continuously touched by your family’s journey with Ava and the strength, love and courage you show your little girl on a daily basis. She is so lucky to have such amazing parents. I couldn’t stop thinking about this post all day (along with all of your others) and thiking about gratitude. You are a very strong person to share your deepest thoughts at this difficult time. I hope that next time you are in Kelowna visiting family that we can get together for tea and I can meet your little trooper Ava and catch up with you!
    Sending healing thoughts and prayers, Lindsay

    • Melissa says:

      Thanks Lindsay! Motherhood makes us all so vulnerable doesn’t it… I appreciate your comments and yes – we’ll definitely try and have a tea the next time I’m in Kelowna. Lots of love to you guys.

  4. Amy says:

    Hi Melissa,
    William looked exactly the same way on Day 3. The swelling will start to subside over the next few days. Things will get better. I’m sure Ava is confused, slightly uncomfortable and upset about this unpleasant situation….but who wouldn’t be? That is a normal response. She WILL get over it and she will forget it. Just take it 1 hour at a time and 1 day at a time. You guys are doing great. Hang in there and know it’s ok to cry when needed.
    Big Hugs,

  5. Harley says:

    Exactly where is the facebook like link ?

  6. Pingback: dYcxcgcvf

  7. Pingback: bulk email

  8. Pingback: maiunemn scaprtsi

  9. Pingback: Final Countdown

  10. Pingback: Accounting

  11. Pingback: pre workout supplement

  12. Pingback: miami photography

  13. Pingback: Degenerative Joint Disease

  14. Pingback: Unified Field Theory

  15. Pingback: top google rankings blog

  16. Pingback: REO Agent

  17. Pingback: facebookofsex ecuador

  18. Pingback: Warez Downloads

  19. Pingback: nespresso aeroccino 3

  20. Pingback: car extended warranty over 100k miles

  21. Pingback: pno=WC679

  22. Pingback: weaver brake tire

  23. Pingback: bankruptcy attorney in orlando

  24. Pingback: Canada Disability

  25. Pingback: teaching resources for maths

  26. Pingback: zip nada zilch

  27. Pingback: ultimate fighter

  28. Pingback: sex chat

  29. Pingback: builder construction

  30. Pingback: Location Ile Maurice

  31. Pingback: independent financial advisor

  32. Pingback: Chlorine Injection System

  33. Pingback: car warranty scams calls

  34. Pingback: second hand car warranties uk

  35. Pingback: auto extended warranty companies reviews

Leave a Reply